Dr Weird's Crazy Antics
by Dr. Weird's Assistant Mark
Summary: What happens when Dr. Weird begins to do a much of crazy stuff? What do you think? R&R please.
1. Pot Roast?

_Author's Note - _I do not own Dr. Weird or Steve, or anything that happens to be from a different show or something. Anything ATHF is copyright of their original owners.

* * *

**_Dr. Weird's Crazy Antics Experiment One_**

Thunder boomed in the skies and lightning flashes around the "secret" laboratory of Dr. Weird on the South Jersey Shore.

"Gentlemen... behold!" Dr. Weird's voice booming through the laboratory.

Inside, the steel gate opened up slowly. Steve, Dr. Weird's assistant, was anxious to see what this new experiment was. On the other side of the gate was a pot roast on a wooden stool.

"My cousinHarold from Montana!" Dr. Weird yelled out.

"But... Dr. Weird..." Steve muttered.

"Beautiful, isn't he! He takes after his Mother!"

"But, Dr. Weird, that's a pot roast!"

Dr. Weird slaps Steve upside the head.

"That's no way to make fun of people on their weight issue, Steve!" he shouted, constantly slapping Steve.

"Okay, I get it. I'm sorry. God." Steve whimpered.

Then, the smell of something burning filled the air. Steve sniffed around a bit.

"What the hell's that smell?" he asked.

"He who smelt it... DEALT IT!" Dr. Weird laughed. But then, he too started sniffing around. His red eyes widened. "MY POT ROAST!"

Steve looked confused. How the hell could Dr. Weird's "pot roast" be in the oven when it was right here in front of him? Dr. Weird ran to the oven and pulled out a black tray. He opened it to revealed a burned corpse, charred beyond recognition.

"Who the hell was that?" Steve asked.

Dr. Weird looked confused. He looked at the pot roast, then at the corpse. He did this three times until his eyes widened.

"GOD IN HEAVEN!" he shouted.

"I told you so "

"SHUT UP!"

Dr. Weird proceeds to beat the tar out of Steve with the pot roast that was on the stool.


	2. The Best Egg Salad in the World

_Author's Note - _I do not own Dr. Weird or Steve, or anything that happens to be from a different show or something. Anything ATHF is copyright of their original owners.

* * *

**_Dr. Weird's Crazy Antics Experiment Two_**

Thunder boomed in the skies and lightning flashes around the "secret" laboratory of Dr. Weird on the South Jersey Shore.

"Gentlemen... behold!" Dr. Weird's voice booming through the laboratory.

Inside, the steel gate opened up slowly. Steve was awaiting to see another pot roast after the last incident. The lab still smelled like charred skin and meat. As the gate opened all the way, a bowl of egg salad was on the stool.

"The best egg salad in the world!" Dr. Weird shouted.

"Um... are you sure this is..." Steve muttered.

"YES! It's egg salad! The best one yet! Just like mommy use to make!"

"If you say so..." Steve said, making an egg salad sandwich, which ironically enough there was bread next to the bowl. He took a big bite into it, then paused. Dr. Weird grinned mischieviously. Steve looked at him. "What did you put in this? I know you're up to something."

"Now why would you say that? Isn't mommy's egg salad GOOD!" Dr. Weird shouted.

"Well... yeah... I think... it tastes awesome... but it doesn't taste like egg salad at all. What's your secret?" Steve asked, taking another bite.

Dr. Weird laughed evilly. Steve arched an eyebrow.

"YOUR MOTHER'S OVARIES, STEVE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" the mad doctor laughed.

Steve looked at Dr. Weird with wide eyes, then at the sandwich. His face turned green before he passed out. Dr. Weird stopped laughing and looked at the fallen assistant.

"April Fool's!"


	3. Easter Bunny?

_Author's Note - _I do not own Dr. Weird or Steve, or anything that happens to be from a different show or something. Anything ATHF is copyright of their original owners.

* * *

**_Dr. Weird's Crazy Antics Experiment Three_**

Thunder boomed in the skies and lightning flashes around the "secret" laboratory of Dr. Weird on the South Jersey Shore.

"Gentlemen... behold!" Dr. Weird's voice booming through the laboratory.

Inside, the steel gate opened up slowly. Steve didn't want to see another food products for the rest of the day. He still could smell the burning corpse, the pot roast, and the "egg" salad. He could taste that disgusting recipe. As the gate opened up, a pink rabbit holding a basket full of eggs was hopping up and down, giggling gayly.

"The Easter Bunny!" Dr. Weird shouted triumphantly.

"Dr. Weird... I hate to bring this up to you, but Easter was last Sunday." Steve said to his mentor.

"I know, but this faggoty son of a bitch owes me some candy! He's not going back to Easter Island until I get my candy!"

Steve didn't know what the hell to say to this lunatic. He just watched the Easter bunny leap up and down in the gate. He hopped over to Steve.

"Hi! I'm the Easter Bunny's twin brother, Darryl!" he giggled.

"Oh-no you don't, you pink puff of hopping-bunny-overly reproducing-piece of shit-faggot! THAT'S MY CANDY! I didn't want to do this, but you PISSED ME OFF!" Dr. Weird shouted running out of the room.

Steve looked confused, but continued to look at Darryl, who kept giggling and hopping. Then, from out of nowhere, a grenade landed in the Easter basket. Darryl looked at it.

"I don't remember this egg being in "

At that second, the grenade exploded. Brains and organs, as well as eggs and candy, flew everywhere. Steve was covered in ash. He coughed up some smoke as Dr. Weird came back in laughing.

"You should've given me some candy, bitch!" he laughed.

Steve looked around the now blood stained lab.

"I'm not cleaning this up."

"BULLSHIT! Get to work!" Dr. Weird shouted, shooting tacos at Steve.


	4. TV's Good Sometimes

_Author's Note - _I do not own Dr. Weird or Steve, or anything that happens to be from a different show or something. Anything ATHF is copyright of their original owners.

* * *

**_Dr. Weird's Crazy Antics ExperimentFour_**

Thunder boomed in the skies and lightning flashes around the "secret" laboratory of Dr. Weird on the South Jersey Shore.

"Gentlemen... behold!" Dr. Weird's voice booming through the laboratory.

Inside, the steel gate opened up slowly. The laboratory was still stained with the blood of the exploded Easter bunny, Darryl. The gate opened and it revealed a giant plasma screen TV. Steve's eyes widened in excitement.

"Holy crap! A plasma screen TV! How did you get the money for this!" he asked.

"Plasma screen TV! Is that what they call it nowadays!" Dr. Weird asked. "What money?"

"The money for this TV. Where did it come from?" Steve asked.

"What is this money you speak of, Steve?" Dr. Weird asked.

"You mean you stole this?"

Dr. Weird froze in place, then smacked Steve across the face.

"YOU TELL ANYONE AND I'LL KILL YA!"


	5. Motherfucker

_Author's Note - _I do not own Dr. Weird or Steve, or anything that happens to be from a different show or something. Anything ATHF is copyright of their original owners.

* * *

**_Dr. Weird's Crazy Antics ExperimentFive_**

Thunder boomed in the skies and lightning flashes around the "secret" laboratory of Dr. Weird on the South Jersey Shore.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Dr. Weird's voice booming through the laboratory.

Inside, Dr. Weird was watching something on the big screen plasma TV thingy he "bought." Steve ran up to him.

"Something the matter, Dr. Weird?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Dr. Weird said.

"What? What's up?"

"Marcy cheated on Bradley!"

Steve looked at the TV to see that Dr. Weird is watching a soap opera. Steve didn't want to say anything. All he did was just walk away.


End file.
